I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
