If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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