He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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