he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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