Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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