Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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