your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
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Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
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Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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