I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I love how my cats smell like pot.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
