Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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