Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just high enough for therapy.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
