can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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