I skipped work to stalk him.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
