Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize