Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
