Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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