I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize