So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
