The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize