I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
