i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
