oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
