You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i just made my gag reflex go away.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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