I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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