He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize