im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
