So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
