I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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