You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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