Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize