he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
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At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
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this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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