he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize