It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
