you turned your livingroom into a bong?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
