whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
