how can u be prego again
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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