I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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