they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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