Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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