I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
