we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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