why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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