Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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