i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
