Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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