does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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