That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
