This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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