i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I lost the right to judge tonight
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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