my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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