is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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