If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
