Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
