what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
