I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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