There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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