playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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