You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
